The N-Word

Recently, a “friend’s” Facebook page posted a status update including the N-word. I, being the loud-mouthed smartass that I am, felt the need to post a response on her comment. Because of Facebook’s settings (even though I removed her from my friends) I still got updates when others commented on her wall post. I was, frankly, depressed by the number of people who defended her use of the word. One person even responded, “…racism and segregation are over…” and suggested I just needed to get over it.

As I made my way home, I stewed over the situation and decided to break down all the arguments so that people will, hopefully understand why the N-word pisses me off so much.

1.) "It's just a word."--True, it is just a word, but words have power. The things that we say have an effect on others, and if you're going to put words like that out there then you need to be ready for the reaction you may receive.

2.) It's in rap song"/"People say it all the time."--True. The word is featured prominently in rap songs, and quite a few people use the word in everyday conversation. That doesn't make it any more right. People have jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge before, but does that mean I'm lining up to take the plunge? Nope. Which brings me to my next point...

3.) "Black people use it."--True. Nevermind the arguments about taking back the word or taking the sting out of it by using it liberally. That's another coluimn. My answer to this argument goes back to response #2: just because someone else uses it doesn't make it okay for you to.

4.) "Racism isn't around any more, so it doesn't matter."--False. Let's not kid ourselves here. As long as there are human beings that judge others for superficial reasons, there will be racism and discrimination. While we can mandate people's behavior, there's nothing we can feasibly do to change the hearts and minds of others. At least not overnight.

5.) "Well, it doesn't bother me..."--I think it's awesome that you're so highly evolved and open-minded but you're not the only one who hears the things that you say. You don't know where I've been or what I've been called, so don't go throwing around loaded words and looking shocked that I'm pissed off.

Now that I’ve gotten all that off my chest, I feel much better. Thank you for listening to the ramblings of an angry Black man.

My half of a conversation with a friend

A friend recently sent me a letter, asking me how I deal with issues. In particular she wanted to know how I deal with racism and homophobia. Just thought I'd share part of the letter I sent her:

.....it's not so much a matter of turning a cold shoulder to the cruelty of others, it's more about deciding who determines how I feel about myself. people can hurl all types of invectives and profanities at me, but they don't get to make me feel bad about myself. I made a decision a long time ago that I'm fucking fabulous, and no one's cheap opinion is going to change that. No matter what people say to or about me, God will always be in His Heaven, my parents will always love me, and I'll still be fabulous. Once I made that decision, everything else just sort of fell into place. We each have to make similar decisions every day, and when someone chooses to treat me poorly because of a superficial characteristic (race, gender, orientation, etc.) then they "choose" to miss out on all I've got to offer. They miss out on my weird sense of humor, my heart, and all the philosophical conversations I love having (this one, for example). With that in mind, I can only feel sorry for people who spend their entire lives judging and hating those around them. I pity the pricks, because they're missing out.