Comedy show with the parents

Last night was the Ricky Smiley comedy show at the Convention Center. Since I work closely with the center (and I'm friends with most of the staff over there) I got the hookup on tickets, and got some for my parents and me to attend the show. I figured they'd both have a good time, since they both generally like to laugh. It was hilarious listening to my mom crack up, and my dad hoot along with the audience. It did get a little awkward at a couple of points, but I hung in there and had a good time. Awkward moment #1 came when one of the opening comedians made a couple of jokes about smoking weed. I give my mother full credit for not turning to me and making a smartass comment. The second awkward moment of the night came when a comedian make a series of gay jokes. Not reaching the level of actual homophobia, but enough to make me a little hot under the collar. Normally I'd have gotten up and walked out, but the fact that my parents were sitting next to me kept me in my seat. Thankfully the moment passed quickly, and the night got better from there. The third awkward moment wasn't so much one particular moment, as it was a bunch of little sex jokes to which I felt weird responding in front of my parents. My personal favorite was about the little girl who saw some animals mating at the zoo ...her mother didn't want to explain sex to such a young child, so she told her the animals were "making cupcakes." Later that day the little girl was watching tv and again saw two animals going at it. Her mother again told her that they were "making cupcakes." When the little girl's father got home from work, he told his daughter to go outside and play, because he needed to talk to her mother alone. When the little girl came back in two hours later, she found her mother making dinner in the kitchen. "Mommy," she asked, "were you and Daddy making cupcakes while I was outside?" Startled, her mother responded, "Why yes. How did you know that?" Smiling, her daughter proudly answered "Cuz I licked all the icing off the couch!" Words cannot convey how hard it was for me not to laugh at that with my parents sitting right next to me, lol.

All the talk of same-sex marriage has me thinking about other limitations on liberties that have been struck down in the past. It's rather revealing that things once considered taboo, have now been proven as antiquated and discriminatory. While reading up on the subject, I ran across a quote from Mildred Loving, who (along with her husband Richard) challenged Virginia's anti-miscenigation laws (laws banning interracial marriages), and won. I thought it was especially touching, and decided to share it. Surrounded as I am now by wonderful children and grandchildren, not a day goes by that I don't think of Richard and our love, our right to marry, and how much it meant to me to have that freedom to marry the person precious to me, even if others thought he was the "wrong kind of person" for me to marry. I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. Government has no business imposing some people's religious beliefs over others. Especially if it denies people's civil rights. I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard's and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That's what Loving, and loving, are all about.

I'm a Celebrity!

I got a pleasant little surprise this afternoon while working on the front desk. A guest came down looking for some toothpaste, and when I handed it to him, he gave me a funny look. A little while later when he came down again to check out, I was busy on the phone. He heard me say my name and gave me another funny look. As he approached the counter, he goes, "Are you the Trey that writes the column?" I was so startled that I gave him a momentary blank look before responding, "As a matter of fact I am." I guess I've become so accustomed to keeping the two parts of my life separate that I'm always a little surprised when there's some overlap. Now that I think about it, he didn't mention liking/disliking the column so I'm not sure just how flattered I should be. I'm going to choose to see it as a compliment that he recognized me at all. Either way it made my day. I love being a pseudo-semi-sorta-kinda-celebrity in a small town!

Dammit! I fed the stray...

A while back, I came up with the concept of "feeding the stray." When a stray animal (say a cat) comes around and you feed it once, it's going to keep coming around because it's discovered a source of food. There's a similar pattern among humans. We've all seen it: the shy, awkward outsider just looking for a chance to belong. The misfit in desperate need of a sense of acceptance among his peers. Then one person extends a polite kindness--an invitation to a party, a drink at the bar--and suddenly the misfit feels like a friend. And just like that, you've fed the stray. You will not shake this loser with anything short of a restraining order--and even those aren't guarantees. If you run into each other in social settings, he'll follow you around like a bad fart. If you give him your number, he'll call you endlessly. The only thing that can end the cycle is when the "stray" finds another source of "food." So you introduce him to your friends (not the good friends, the ones you rarely speak to) praying he'll latch onto one of them. You try desperately to shake this kid like a booger stuck to your finger. There's no moral to this story, just wanted to explain what I mean when I say, "Dammit! I fed the stray..." Some of you know who I'm talking about, but I don't think I'll ever really be rid of the motherfucker. At this point, I've accepted it, even embraced. Hell, maybe I was the stray that he fed. Who knows at this point.

Our time has come

Today was the day we've been awaiting for so long. The Quality Assurance inspector from corporate checked into our hotel last night and spent the day evaluating our property. There were some glitches that threatened to keep us from opening (lack of carpet on the upper floors, etc), but around 5 the QA guy (more on him later...) pulled John, Jen, and JT aside and gave them the results of his inspection: we passed! That means that we've passed corporate's (high) standards, and will now be linked to the "central database." John popped the champagne, and we all took pictures of the big moment. Ironically, as we sat around sipping champagne from small plastic cups bearing our (now official) logo, we got our first walk-in. I'm sure he wondered just what the hell he'd wandered into, but he definitely got an enthusiastic welcome. He even posed for a picture with Jen.

Today wasn't just important to the powers-that-be who have invested so much money in our hotel; it was important to each of us personally. We've all invested so much sweat equity into the completion of this hotel that we all had personal reasons to want to see it open. We've watched the hotel grow from an unfinished construction site to a refined and beautiful hotel. More importantly, we actually feel like a team. A friend of mine that was hired to do part-time night audit made the comment, "I can't believe y'all are just meeting each other. Seems like you've known each other for years." It really is hard to believe we've only known each other for three weeks: we've already created a lifetime's worth of classic moments (for example: our chief engineer singing "Oops! I Did it Again" at karaoke night), and become our own form of special, dysfunctional family. While I might not love every member of that dysfunctional family (Princess), I love the family as a whole. I can't wait to get down to the business of filling some rooms.

Speaking of "family," the QA guy kept setting off my gaydar. Every time he passed within three feet of the front desk, I did my best to shine...and not just for the benefit of the hotel. What can I say? I'm a sucker for a nice smile...especially when that smile is on a man that looks good in a pair of dress pants. After he announced we'd passed our inspection, we went from inspector/nervous employee to members of the same team. While he'd been politely friendly all day, he seemed much more relaxed. Our chief engineer ("...it's Britney, bitch.") said he caught the guy checking me out after I'd taken off my blazer and walked past him to join in the celebration. I wasn't sure how seriously to take it, though. G has been known to mess with my head. Before he left, he made sure to pass his card out to the GM and AGM, and as he stood there, I asked for one also. He laughed and asked, "Why would you possibly need to get in touch with me? I'm not that important." For the sake of decency, I didn't answer that question the way I wanted to, but I persisted and he finally gave me a card. Maybe I'll give it a couple of days and send him a nice "thank you" email. You never know...

New "Ask Uncle Trey Pound"

Dear Uncle Trey Pound: For the past month, I've been seeing a guy I met through friends for 30+ days. We've been dating, but so far no commitments have been made, which suits us both just fine. The only problem is that while we've become closer emotionally, we haven't become closer physically. In fact it hasn't progressed beyond the awkward hug from him when he leaves to go home. I blame myself: early on I told him how guys in my past have tried to use me for sex, and that I was sick of being used. Uncle Trey Pound, how can I give him the "green light" without looking like a slut? Signed, Got Needs Too Dear Needs: The good news is that you've met that rare guy who seems to really want to get to know you. He's put in some (fully clothed) time with you, and he's respecting the fact that you've been burned before. The bad news is that since he's not picking up on your "green light" signals, that means you're going to have to be a bit more direct. That doesn't mean date-rape drugs and handcuffs, just be more...open with your needs. Let him know that while you appreciate his respect for your boundaries, you need a little bit more than hand-holding and Mac vs. PC debates--you need some lovin' too. Something tells me that if he's like most fully functional heterosexual males, he'll be naked before you can finish your sentence. Good luck, and try not to break any lamps. Dear Uncle Trey Pound: Last year I came out to my parents as a lesbian. They were shocked, and for a long time our relationship was a bit strained. But over the course of the past two months, we've started to communicate more, and things have been really good between us. They've been very supportive, and that's actually part of the problem. My parents have started introducing me to friends as their "lesbian daughter." My mom has tried to fix me up with a couple of women--with disastrous results. Uncle Trey Pound, how can I tell my parents that while I appreciate their support, I'm more low-key in the way that I live my life? Signed, Out, But Not Out There Dear Out: First, you've got to give your parents credit for trying to accept you. In their own awkward way, they're being supportive, and that's more than can be said of a lot of parents. They love you, and they're going out of their way to show it, so cut them some slack. Having said that, I'm sure it's embarrassing to have your business put out there every time you meet a friend of theirs from work. The easiest way to tell them is to say just what you've said to me. You love them for their support, but it makes you uncomfortable to have your personal life the first thing people know about you when you're introduced. Remind them that you weren't their "straight daughter" before coming out, and you're not their "gay daughter" now that you have. You're their daughter, plain and simple. Dear Uncle Trey Pound: For almost three months, I've been dating a wonderful man. I truly love him, but I recently found out that he's been keeping some secrets about his past. Specifically, he's lied about the extent of his past drug use. I don't judge him for his past, but the lying concerns me. Should I give him another chance, or would I just be giving him another chance to lie to me? Signed, Between a (Crack) Rock and a Hard Place Dear Rock: Before making any decisions ask yourself a few questions: How far in his past was this drug use? None of us are the same people we were five or ten years ago, and none of us should be judged by decisions made back then. Also, what are the chances that his "past drug use" will become a part of his present with you? If you think he's successfully put it behind him, I say give him another chance to be the man you need in your life. Finally if you do decide to forgive him, how easy will it be for you to really put this behind you? Will you really be able to forgive and forget, or will this be a constant source of aggravation every time you get mad at each other? If you think you can really put this behind you and forgive him for lying, I think it's worth a shot. Good luck!