New "Ask Uncle Trey Pound"

Dear Uncle Trey Pound: For the past month, I've been seeing a guy I met through friends for 30+ days. We've been dating, but so far no commitments have been made, which suits us both just fine. The only problem is that while we've become closer emotionally, we haven't become closer physically. In fact it hasn't progressed beyond the awkward hug from him when he leaves to go home. I blame myself: early on I told him how guys in my past have tried to use me for sex, and that I was sick of being used. Uncle Trey Pound, how can I give him the "green light" without looking like a slut? Signed, Got Needs Too Dear Needs: The good news is that you've met that rare guy who seems to really want to get to know you. He's put in some (fully clothed) time with you, and he's respecting the fact that you've been burned before. The bad news is that since he's not picking up on your "green light" signals, that means you're going to have to be a bit more direct. That doesn't mean date-rape drugs and handcuffs, just be more...open with your needs. Let him know that while you appreciate his respect for your boundaries, you need a little bit more than hand-holding and Mac vs. PC debates--you need some lovin' too. Something tells me that if he's like most fully functional heterosexual males, he'll be naked before you can finish your sentence. Good luck, and try not to break any lamps. Dear Uncle Trey Pound: Last year I came out to my parents as a lesbian. They were shocked, and for a long time our relationship was a bit strained. But over the course of the past two months, we've started to communicate more, and things have been really good between us. They've been very supportive, and that's actually part of the problem. My parents have started introducing me to friends as their "lesbian daughter." My mom has tried to fix me up with a couple of women--with disastrous results. Uncle Trey Pound, how can I tell my parents that while I appreciate their support, I'm more low-key in the way that I live my life? Signed, Out, But Not Out There Dear Out: First, you've got to give your parents credit for trying to accept you. In their own awkward way, they're being supportive, and that's more than can be said of a lot of parents. They love you, and they're going out of their way to show it, so cut them some slack. Having said that, I'm sure it's embarrassing to have your business put out there every time you meet a friend of theirs from work. The easiest way to tell them is to say just what you've said to me. You love them for their support, but it makes you uncomfortable to have your personal life the first thing people know about you when you're introduced. Remind them that you weren't their "straight daughter" before coming out, and you're not their "gay daughter" now that you have. You're their daughter, plain and simple. Dear Uncle Trey Pound: For almost three months, I've been dating a wonderful man. I truly love him, but I recently found out that he's been keeping some secrets about his past. Specifically, he's lied about the extent of his past drug use. I don't judge him for his past, but the lying concerns me. Should I give him another chance, or would I just be giving him another chance to lie to me? Signed, Between a (Crack) Rock and a Hard Place Dear Rock: Before making any decisions ask yourself a few questions: How far in his past was this drug use? None of us are the same people we were five or ten years ago, and none of us should be judged by decisions made back then. Also, what are the chances that his "past drug use" will become a part of his present with you? If you think he's successfully put it behind him, I say give him another chance to be the man you need in your life. Finally if you do decide to forgive him, how easy will it be for you to really put this behind you? Will you really be able to forgive and forget, or will this be a constant source of aggravation every time you get mad at each other? If you think you can really put this behind you and forgive him for lying, I think it's worth a shot. Good luck!